Olympics
I’m sorry for the slow down in posts over the past week and a half. I do have a very pertinent excuse, however. I have been training. By the time I return to normal life, I am absolutely exhausted. It’s hard work becoming an Olympic athlete. Let me explain…
After watching the Olympics, I found myself becoming very angry and jealous. I was angry at my parents, because WTF? Why did they not sign me up for less-competitive events when I was, like, 3 and full of promise? I cannot be held responsible for my lack of luge skills. That is totally on my parents. If they had simply placed me on a skateboard and pushed me down our driveway, who knows where I might be right now. Alas, they did not, so I am stuck in Des Moines, Iowa watching people with, quite possibly, less natural talent than myself competing in the greatest sporting event on Earth. Instead of helping me attain success as a bobsledder, luger, ice dancer, etc, they pushed me into basketball, soccer, and gymnastics. Those were just not my things, and my parents should have realized that when I scored 6 points in two years, no goals in one year, and my feet were dragging on the floor underneath the uneven bars before I even hit a growth spurt. My parents signed me up for the wrong sports, and that is why I am not living it up in Vancouver. Assholes.
Anyway…
I’m getting older now, so many sports are out of the question. I’m almost positive that I cannot take up figure skating at age 26, so I found a sport that does not discriminate against the elderly. I have decided to take up curling:
I’m going to give those Norwegians a run for their money in 2014…
I think with my sweeping skills I would be great a curling. Too bad it’s on ice. Me and ice don’t mix real well.
Wow this is so cool! Good luck and keep us updated!
Thank you for the excellent post. I very rarely take the time to comment but your blog made me do it. You now have a new subscriber.
Go Go Go! Give them a run for their money. I can almost see you winning already with such determination. :)
BAH! you will make it to the olympics yet!
You’re too funny. Great post!! You think just like me. Actually, I am a good athlete and I often think about some of those sports I would have kicked ass in: Luge, Handball, Bobsled and of course, Curling…..
Hope you’re having a good weekend.
Your site was one of the Blogs we gave props to in our new post today.
Enjoy!
Ah what a coincidence! I told my parents that I was going to begin training for curling now, and by the time I’m 40 I will be in the Olympics. It’s actually a realistic goal…17 years of training should do the trick! Perhaps we will meet on the curling ice one day during the gold medal match hahaa
Hahah those last two pictures are too funny! I’m new to your blog but it is fantastic!
You should come visit at It’s Time To Get Over How Fragile You Are sometime!!
Annie
Well, I had to drop by and check out my competition. Have you been drinking the proper amount of beer to stay in curling shape?
brooke you scare me sometimes with how you word things that are in my head.
i had the same thought during the summer olymps and i did my research and decided to take up fencing because… seriously… how hard is it to poke someone with the tip of a long metal object? i have a brother. i have been doing that since i was 3.
we should start bobsledding. i would have to marry an american for citizenship . or we could both become jamaican. cool runnings 2 : the white women version
also , have you read articles about all the randy shennanigans happening bewteen olympic athletes? sounds FUN let me in the CLUB. geez
I can’t believe curling is an olympic sport.