Iowa State Fair
As V and I searched through the refrigerator this morning for something to eat, he pulled out a piece of meat that was comprised of 80% fat and 20% meat. This consistency is fairly common over here, but I’m not a big fan. However, this fatty log of mystery meat did remind me of something heartbreaking. The overdose of lard reminded me that, I AM TOTALLY MISSING THE IOWA STATE FAIR RIGHT NOW.
I do not know how to accurately put into words what the Iowa State Fair really is, but it consists of a lot of heat and humidity, random foods on a stick, the entire obese population of the United States, and livestock with enormous testicles (truly). There is, of course, the world famous butter cow, and this year, Michael Jackson is also memorialized in rendered fat. A butter cow and a butter Michael Jackson? This is a major event, people! The livestock barns are also a huge attraction, where the biggest bull and the biggest pig put bowling balls to shame, if you know what I mean.
I grew up going to the fair, so every year there is a small adjustment period to the strange mass of humanity collected in East Des Moines, but overall, I know what to expect. However, taking V to the fair for the first time was quite amusing. He actually wanted to stop and ask the funnier looking people out of the bunch if he could take their pictures. He didn’t, of course, but we still refer to two of them as “Fred the Big Head” and “Larry with the Funny Shoes”. He then proceeded to eat a pork chop on a stick, a corn dog (on a stick), a turkey drumstick, and a deep fried candy bar on a stick. Seriously, everything is on a stick. Sandwiches are on a stick, Chinese food is on a stick, and even, potatoes are on a stick. It is an OCD overweight person’s paradise.
Every year, approximately 1 million people hit up this 10 day event. Besides the food, the obesity, and the balls, there is a lot of entertainment. The beer tents are fun, and there are some decent concerts. Also, you can spot an abundance of awesome mullets. So, if you ever find yourself in Iowa during August, hit up the fair and say “hi” to my mom and dad.
{Images via Google}
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[...] luckily for you, now that things are settling down, more exciting events are on the horizon. The Iowa State Fair is coming up, followed by a trip to Las Vegas with my sister and 13 other friends. [...]
aw, i have never been and i am sad to miss it!!!
maybe each year they try to put something new on a stick? hmmmm. what could be next? the possibilities are endless!
and they should have tums sponsor the event!!!! all that fried food sounds wild, but might be a bit rough on my system!
ummmm …..hi ‘mom’ and ‘dad’? LOL
This is no way to get favors out of your Dad. By the way, I went the first Friday and only had one corn dog. I’m saving up for the end of the fair when they go on sale for 1/2 price.
Dad
I love all kinds of fairs!
I would go for the mullets alone.
Hey Just got back from 4 hours at the Fair. This includes the 20 minute drive each way, attending a friend’s birthday party at some Mexican place, walked around in flip flop[s (bad idea) saw the BULL (and yes bowling ball size is about right) The man escorting me had a corn dog. I had a pineapple whip. You might be thinking how exciting but sorry it was just ice cream in a cone. ( $3.50 for a kid’s size ) Wowzer Hate to think what they would have charged me if I ordered an age appropriate size. I understand this year they have pepto Bismal on a stick. Smart idea. Ok back to the 4 hours at the Fair. After walking in and out of a few buldings, saw some more livestock we decided we had enough walking around and headed home. Exhausted!! The highlight was definitely seeing the new Iowa record Bull weighing in over 3400 lbs. Now that would be one big piece of meat on a stick
Oh honey, to be just a big, fat cow! Imagine my day, slumbering, eating, slumbering, eating, no where to go due to the fact that I am too big to move, being hauled from fair to fair, only to be stared at and admired! And the blue ribbons and trophies! What a life!