Sunrise

I am not a morning person.  I don’t work well in the morning. I don’t look spectacular in the morning.  I can barely function in the morning. I accomplish what I accomplish late at night. Anyway… Yesterday, I had to wake up at 5 am.  I usually go to bed at 2 am.  I finished 6 cups of coffee by 6:30 am and was still suffering from an acute bout of narcolepsy.  ’Twas not pretty.  However, I think I managed to brush my teeth.  My hair?  Not so much. In... Read More

Bad Ad

Now, don’t get me wrong, I like to fly.  If the airlines stopped cutting back on leg room and pretzels, while simultaneously adding asinine fees for simply existing, I would love to fly.  I grew up around planes.  Back in the day, my dad had his pilot’s license, and my family often traveled short distances in his 6-seater, company plane.  Usually, I sat copilot, because my mom detested my dad’s flying bucket.  I didn’t know any better.  When... Read More

Cupped

So, thanks to a car accident when I was 16, I have a bad neck.  More specifically, my neck is lopsided (I only have one sternocleidomastoid) due to a torn cranial nerve.  For awhile, this caused all kinds of problems that I won’t bore you with (HEADACHES), but after an occipital nerve block, things got exponentially better. Anyway… After 5 days with a headache last week, I was desperate to try something that was not a knock-you-out painkiller.  Not that I don’t... Read More

It’s Nice Out…Or, It Was. It’s Raining Now.

Over the past week or so, Des Moines has been graced with some beautiful weather.  Mother nature definitely owes us a great spring after the horrendous winter we all barely survived mentally intact (the jury is still out on a few of us).  In fact, I even managed to get something resembling a tan sunburn.  Damn you, Irish and Norwegian blood.  Whatever.  I’m thoroughly savoring my overdose of vitamin D.  After Lithuania and this past winter, I think I can take advantage... Read More

How Not To Memorialize Me

While in Ohio, my mom and I took a walk around an historical cemetery.  I mean, it only makes sense to wander aimlessly around a random cemetery the day after a funeral…right?  Actually, my mom’s dad is buried there.  I got to meet him for the first time.  Woot!  He’s rather quiet.  I think I take after him. Anyway… Please don’t do this to me: A Solider of the Civil War – His Wife….So anticlimactic.  First, she’s named Minerva.... Read More

So, Yeah, My Last Post was Either Really Appropriate or Really Inappropriate…

About 3 hours after I published my last post, my grandmother passed away unexpectedly expectedly, if that makes any sense at all.  I’m currently staying at a hotel in Ohio that likes to charge $25 a day for the internet, so I probably won’t update much…Unless something extraordinarily great/hilarious/awkward/weird happens.  So, actually, I take everything back.  I might update a lot.  Read More

Super Bowl

I have a difficult time with the Super Bowl.  I love sports, so I thoroughly enjoy the actual game (Plus, I have to explain the intricacies of the sport to my mom.  She would rather sit and exclaim, “Whoa!  Look at that butt!”…On another note, yes, I watched the Super Bowl with my mom.  In pajamas.).  However, I also enjoy/enjoy complaining about the commercials.  On top of this, the Super Bowl, obviously, goes hand in hand with beer.  This all leaves... Read More