As I mentioned, my friend received a promotion at work and was transferred to Los Angeles. Seeing that I’m pretty much a wandering nomad, I volunteered to accompany him on the trip out. However, we started planning aspects of the trip a few weeks in advance and decided to make it as entertaining as possible. He sent most of his things to LA on a truck to help make our drive more efficient and more places accessible. His last remaining belongings, like clothes, 500 pairs of shoes, a random tupperware, and his dog were to make the journey with us.

I tweeted this picture from my driveway, with the caption:

Heading to LA with @myronBat! 50-50 chance we arrive with the roof rack.

The brand new roof rack was attached to his car as tightly as possible. The straps were tucked safely in the doors, and we kept a close watch on it through the sunroof. We stopped to check up on things a few times and ultimately determined that things were looking good. However, as we were driving down I-80 in Middle-of-Nowhere, Nebraska, I watched in slow motion as the strap inside my door dislodged from its confines to forge a new path. Why it chose to do this in Nebraska, I will never know. My friend and I whipped our heads around to witness the roof rack launch itself from the car and fly through the air with the grace of a one-winged, drunk pterodactyl. My friend stated, “I think it’s gone.” Yep, that thing got serious air time.

Friend: What do we do?

Me: Call 911? Call the police?

Friend: For a flying roof rack?

Me: I DON’T KNOW.

Ultimately, he decided to reverse down the shoulder of the interstate. Luckily, no one was directly behind us, and traffic was sparse enough to allow other vehicles to safely maneuver around the pile of crap strewn about both lanes. Things could have been really bad, which is why 911 immediately came to mind. Well, that and my friend’s shoes were up there. That is a definite emergency in my book. Also, I now know how a whole closet’s worth of shoes ends up on the highway, but I am still not sure how a single shoe ends up on the interstate. That will forever remain one of life’s greatest mysteries. In the end, we were able to play frogger and collect his things on our own.

Since reattaching the roof rack was clearly a poor option, we crammed its contents into the backseat. Like crammed, as in, if anyone dared to open a door, the contents of the backseat would have shot out with deadly force. Unfortunately, his dog was also back there.

Once it was over, we laughed for the rest of the trip and made comments like, “Hey, remember when we had a roof rack?” Also, eff you, Nebraska. I blame you and your boring expanse of interstate that absolutely never ends. Lessons learned from this fiasco- 1.) Do not buy roof racks from Walmart. Actually, just don’t buy anything from Walmart. 2.) Buy tupperware. Some kind of magic caused the lid to stay firmly in place.

Also, this has nothing to do with Nebraska or roof racks, but if you have a few minutes, go here and VOTE. My friend is up for Cosmo’s Bachelor of the Year. I’ve known Adam forever. Really, I’ve pretty much known him his whole life. Our moms are best friends, and his entire family is awesome. So, please, vote!

Related posts:

1. Road Trip: Iowa-California
2. Starbucks: Iowa vs. California
3. Southern California
4. California Coastal Views